May 14, 2009
“I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks ,"--Daniel Boone.
About a week ago, I noticed a confusing problem.
Things were going wrong all around me, and I was as perplexed as a lost Daniel Boone.
Usually, when things go wrong I blame it on pilot error, and the self-deprecating humor gets a laugh. Then, I am off the hook, and no one gets too mad at my foibles.
However, I am considering the possibility that this time the fault could lie somewhere other than in my own cockpit.
A neighboring post office I rarely use had a baffling snafu and lost a graduation gift card I mailed from there. Our bank, not me, made a mistake on a deposit. Business appointments were scheduled incorrectly on their end, not mine. Someone else's computer snarled up my travel reservations.
In all these situations, no one could effectively explain what went wrong, which is precisely what sent me sleuthing for answers.
Here is what I found out.
According to numerous astrology sites online, we can blame Mercury Retrograde.
This is an astrological event, that occurs typically three times a year, when the planet Mercury appears to move backwards in the sky. Things go abysmally wrong seemingly for days in a row, according to those who follow the stars.
It is happening now.
Andy Newman of the New York Times once penned a story titled "Yes, Mercury is in Retrograde. So What?" He explained the phenomenon this way.
"Perhaps you've noticed that things have gone a bit screwy the past couple of weeks. Traffic jams materialize out of nowhere. Your luggage makes an unscheduled stop in Sumatra. The computer eats your dissertation. If you have friends who follow the stars, they may have had a ready explanation for you: the planet Mercury is in retrograde."
Astrologers also note since Mercury is the planet associated with communication, when it goes retrograde, communication will move backwards, stand still, or become hopelessly confused.
Probably what happened to Daniel Boone.
Modern science may disagree saying instead that Mercury Retrograde is an illusion created by the earth's orbital rotation in relation to other planets. Science holds that Mercury really isn't moving backward and has no effect whatsoever on the inhabitants of Earth.
Newman agrees in his article and quotes Bruce Schaller, former research director of the New York City Transit. Schaller examined statistical findings about Mercury Retrograde on train schedules and pronounced the influence of Mercury to be conclusively insignificant. Just hogwash.
Still, I am not so sure, and yes, I have noticed things going a bit screwy lately.
The current Mercury Retrograde period began May 7 and will not end until May 31.
So if you are waiting for Mercury Retrograde to pass as I am, astrologers tell us to spend our energy doing activities that begin with the letter "r".
Relax, review, research, rewrite, revisit, redo, repeat, repair, retire, retool, retrace, retract, retouch, retrace, and rest.
I tried this advice and have rewritten this column five times, but I am not sure it helped.
As C.S. Lewis once said, " When things go wrong, you'll find they usually go on getting worse for some time; but when things once start going right they often go on getting better and better. "
Is it better yet? Enough rewriting already. I think I will try another "r word and rest this thing. The end!
